I forgot how babies like to move in straight lines, shunning the option to go around in favor of going over and through. Coffee table legs should move for them. Laundry closet doors should open at the insistent, repeated bashing of tiny shoulders to allow easy access to that little door to the washer drain. Sisters are merely objects in the way of the coveted orange balloon. Glass doors do not even exist even if baby foreheads say otherwise.
And cat tails are truly the most irresistible things that swish. No amount of hissing and skittering will dissuade babies from their goal of making all tails sodden with copious amounts of drool. Even though tail fur is one of the world's most gag-inducing substances, it must literally be embraced and cherished as often as possible.
Cheerios and spoons are for jamming into the back of your throat. The more dramatic the coughing, gagging and general distress, the more Daddy worries, and the more Mommy has to reassure Daddy that sudden spoon-related death is not about to occur in the Cheerio-encrusted high chair.
Cords are just natures way of encouraging babies to stretch and reach for the stars. With a brief moment of chewing on the way.
Independent playtime is only good when Mommy's watching. She shouldn't actively participate, but she also should never sneak off to check email or *gasp* do the dishes.
Sneezing only occurs when there are huge mouthfuls of oatmeal, preferably with sweet potatoes or something equally colorful, in baby's mouth. The splatters will always reach the person feeding the baby, every article of baby's clothes, every nook of the high chair, at least half of the kitchen table, and hopefully at least one cat.
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